Support for yourself
What am I feeling?
Grief & Loss
Many of us are feeling grief at the loss of our team mate and friend. You may be feeling untethered, angry, sad or all manner of other things, and it’s important to know that you’re not alone.
First, what is grief and what are the typical reactions to losing someone? What can I do now that might help?
Click here and here for an overview
Trauma & traumatic grief
A traumatic event is something that threatens your life or safety, or the lives of people around you. It is an experience that is stressful and has a significant impact on your emotional state.
There were many people at the game that day and we all saw something different. Our experiences might have been confronting, we may be playing it over and over in our minds, or reviewing the events to try and make sense of things. This is a natural part of processing what happened, but it can impact our day-to-day.
Here are some quick facts on trauma, how it affects our emotions and feelings, and how it can impact us physically.
Traumatic grief can develop when we lose someone unexpectedly. Traumatic grief is different from the grief that happens from an expected loss, such as when someone passes away after a long chronic illness. Traumatic grief is more likely to lead to complicated grief. And the feelings that come with traumatic grief are also much more intense.
LifeLine have put together a helpful tool kit on their website which defines the different types of trauma, its impacts, and what you can do in the short and medium term which may help. Click here.
Mental health check in
Not sure how you’re feeling or don’t have the words? Try this online mental health check in with Beyond Blue. Completing the check-in will help you understand what kind of support you might need right now.
Services like MindSpot can also offer online assessments which can direct you to free, self-directed online programs which aim to help you manage through grief and trauma and their related symptoms.
Maintaining your mental health and wellbeing
Taking care of your mental health and wellbeing can look different to everyone. It's about finding a balance in all aspects of your life that works for you. It's about your whole person: physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual. Making small adjustments can help you learn what works for you and stay well.
There are many things you can do to look after your mental health and wellbeing. Some are simple, others more challenging. Being aware of them and making a plan is a great place to start.
Beyond Blue provides a great guide on how you look after yourself through tough times such as these.
If you want to keep track of how you’re going, try MindSpot’s self-assessment sheet. You can also download apps like the MyPossibleSelf app which provides tools and allows you to track activities you enjoy.
Other apps like HeadSpace and SmilingMind provide guided meditation exercises to help get in the right frame of mind when you’re feeling anxious or low.
make a plan
Creating a plan for yourself now can help you and those around you to recognise whether you need help managing your grief or trauma later.
We’ve linked a template for a simple mental health and wellbeing plan here. Filling this out can help you to think about what makes you feel good, what your triggers are and what the signs might be if you’re not coping. Sharing this with your support network will help them to understand your needs.
what might help me?
Immediate aftermath
According to Beyond Blue, the following things can be helpful following a traumatic event:
Understand that it's normal to have strong reactions to a traumatic event. Give yourself some time to recover.
Express how you feel by talking to someone, writing about it or finding a creative outlet to share your reactions.
Avoid using drugs or alcohol to cope. They will not help you feel better over time.
Gradually confront what has happened rather than trying to block it out. Thinking about what has happened can be helpful as you begin to process your experiences. If you begin to dwell on it consider putting some time aside to think about it and then move on to something else.
Try to maintain your normal routine.
Look after yourself physically; maintain a healthy diet, get regular exercise and ensure you have enough sleep.
Talk to your family and friends about what help you need.
Teach yourself how to relax using techniques such as yoga, breathing or meditation, or do things you enjoy, such as listening to music or playing sport.
Medium term
It’s important to recognise when you’re not coping. Most people find that they gradually feel better over time – usually in the days and weeks after the event. But some people have continuing symptoms of distress, or find that their symptoms are getting worse.
This can increase the risk of developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or harmful levels of alcohol and other drug use. When your grief or trauma is negatively affecting your day-to-day for a prolonged period of time, it is time to seek help.
We recommend making an appointment with your GP as a first port of call. Your GP is able to refer you to other services and can also help to create a mental health plan with you. If you have any concerns regarding the cost of such appointments please reach out to CFNC as we can help you with this.
signs to watch for
In particular, we suggest that you seek professional help if you are experiencing any of the following extreme effects of trauma for longer than 1 month:
Reminders of the traumatic event that are distressing. These could include: dreams, flashbacks, thoughts or memories of the event coming back unexpectedly, physiological reactions that remind you of the event.
Avoiding things that remind you of the event. This can include avoiding specific people, places, or events. It can also include efforts to avoid any unwanted memories, thoughts or feelings.
Changes to mood and thinking. For example these can include major changes to beliefs about oneself, others or the world, as well as major changes to emotional state (that gets in the way of living the life you want to live).
Professional help
CFNC has partnered with a number of organisations which we are able to direct you to for assistance. This includes local counsellors and other trained practitioners who can meet with you in-person to connect one-on-one for free. Talk to your team manager or contact our Wellbeing Officers directly if you’re struggling. We’re all in this together.
Alternatively, we’ve put together a number of helpful resources below which can be accessed 24/7.
Web chats and SMS services
LifeLine SMS: 0477 131 114
Headspace online and phone support
Kids Helpline (age 5-25) web chat
Reach Out (age 18-25) Book a web chat
Please be aware that web and SMS chats can take up to 3min for an initial response.
Phone call services
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Helpline (age 5-25) call: 1800 551 800