Supporting your child

It is really difficult to see our children experience pain and distress. Our first reaction as parents and guardians is to want to take that pain away and fix the situation. We would happily take on the burden of pain if it meant our children didn’t have to.

A lot of people were impacted by the events which lead to Dal’s passing and these experiences range from grief (“I lost a friend”) through to trauma (“I saw something confronting”). These feelings are complex and intense and as a parent or guardian we sometimes feel at a loss as to how we can help.

CFNC has compiled a few resources below that may assist you in supporting your child and other young people around you.

What are they feeling?

The first step in helping someone is to understand more about how they could be feeling. Click here for a guide on grief and here for a guide on trauma.

It’s important to understand that grief and trauma can both impact us mentally, but also physically.

The Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss and Grief Network have some fantastic online resources for supporting young children and adolescents including:

Most people begin to recover from a traumatic experience in the following few weeks. But some people have continuing symptoms of distress, or find that their symptoms are getting worse.

This can increase the risk of developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or harmful levels of alcohol and other drug use.

signs to watch for

As a parent or guardian, it is important to watch for the following extreme impacts of trauma in your loved one:

  • Reminders of the traumatic event that are distressing. These could include: dreams, flashbacks, thoughts or memories of the event coming back unexpectedly, physiological reactions that remind you of the event.

  • Avoiding things that remind them of the event. This can include avoiding specific people, places, or events. It can also include efforts to avoid any unwanted memories, thoughts or feelings.

  • Changes to mood and thinking. For example these can include major changes to beliefs about oneself, others or the world, as well as major changes to emotional state (that gets in the way of living the life they want to live).

If these changes have been happening for 1 month or longer it is important to seek support.

Supporting your child to see their GP is a good first port of call. Their GP is able to refer them to other services and can also help to create a mental health plan with them. If you have any concerns regarding the cost of such appointments please reach out to CFNC as we can help with this.

ways you can help

Grief & Loss

Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss and Grief Network have put together a fact sheet specifically for helping your child through grief and loss.

Trauma

A traumatic event is something that threatens your life or safety, or the lives of people around you. It is an experience that is stressful and has a significant impact on your emotional state.

We’ve located this comprehensive resource from LifeLine which will help you recognise when the person you are caring for is likely to need help. This webpage provides more information on practical ways to assist such as:

  • How to start a conversation

  • Learning their triggers

  • Acknowledging their achievements and progress

  • Respecting their privacy

  • Offering practical support

  • Doing positive things together

  • Supporting them to seek help

Please view the resource linked above for information on the above topics.

How do I talk to my child about it?

Sometimes we may find it difficult to approach conversations with our children and not know where to begin.

For tips on this, the Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss and Grief Network have a fact sheet called Talking to children and young people about trauma.

professional support

In some instances, professional support may be required to help your loved one through their grief or trauma.

As stated by Headspace, it’s important for your loved one to get help if they are experiencing any of the extreme effects of trauma (listed above on this page) that:

  • last for more than one month

  • get worse

  • interfere with school, work, relationships or activities that they enjoy

  • cause distress or upset

  • make them think of harming themselves or someone else

How CFNC can help

CFNC has partnered with a number of organisations which we are able to direct you to for assistance. This includes local counsellors and other trained practitioners who can meet with you in-person to connect one-on-one for free. Contact our Wellbeing Officers directly if you think someone is struggling or needs help. We’re all in this together.

We are also able to connect you with services who can help your family get through this as a unit. If you think your family would benefit from professional support please reach out and we will connect you.

Supporting your child to see their GP is a good first port of call. Their GP is able to refer them to other services and can also help to create a mental health plan with them. If you have any concerns regarding the cost of such appointments please reach out to CFNC as we can help with this.

Alternatively, we’ve put together a number of helpful resources below which can be accessed 24/7.

Web chats and SMS services

LifeLine SMS: 0477 131 114

LifeLine web chat

Kids Helpline (age 5-25) web chat

Reach Out (age 18-25) Book a web chat

Beyond Blue web chat

Please be aware that web and SMS chats can take up to 3min for an initial response.

Phone call services

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Kids Helpline (age 5-25) call: 1800 551 800

Find support as a carer

Being a carer can be challenging and often, despite our best intentions, we can feel lost, disheartened, or not know what to do when our loved one is struggling. This is a common experience for carers so please know that you’re not alone.

If you would like support please reach out to the Carer Gateway linked here.